How to run a company with (almost) no rules by Ricardo Semler (TED 2014)

How to run a company with (almost) no rules
by Ricardo Semler (TEDGlobal 2014)

Why you should listen

After assuming control of Semler & Company (Semco) from his father in 1980, Brazil's Ricardo Semler began a decades-long quest to create an organization that could function without him, by studying and then implementing what could best be called "corporate democracy", allowing employees to design their own jobs, select their supervisors, and define pay levels. He has then applied the same principles to education, banking and hospitality. All with very good results. 

He's now promoting the idea of designing organizations -- companies, schools, NGOs -- for wisdom. With a question as a starting point: If we were to start from scratch, would we design organization X the way we have done it?

What others say

“Business plans are just wishful thinking. Have you ever seen one that says, 'I’m going to go up 5% and then down -14%'? Because that's what happens in practice.” —

LA LA Land: Ambition vs. Love

LA LA LAND: Ambition vs. Love ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
by Bryan J. Neva, Sr.

"LA LA Land" is a romantic musical drama released in August 2016 starring Ryan Gosling, as an aspiring jazz musician and entrepreneur, and Emma Stone, as an aspiring actress, who meet and fall in love in Los Angeles, California. The title refers to the the city and also to those who are somewhat out-of-touch with reality. The film went on to win six Academy Awards (including best director, best actress, and best song). It was also financially very successful too as it earned over $430 million (and counting) on a meager budget of just $30 million. 

The plot of the movie revolves around the struggle between ambition and love; how much are the characters willing to sacrifice to realize their dreams? They're both so tempted by the allure of fame and success that they have to learn the hard way that those things won't bring you lasting happiness. The plot has been repeated over and over again in the movies for years, but this film masterfully takes it to another level. It's a reflection of life itself as people will sacrifice everything to achieve their dreams including true love. I highly recommend you see the movie and take to heart the lessons learned.  

Chobani's billionaire founder on creating jobs in America by Steve Kroft, CBS 60 Minutes

Chobani's billionaire founder on creating jobs in America

Hamdi Ulukaya built the best-selling yogurt brand in the U.S. after coming here 23 years ago. Today, 70% of Chobani employees are American born, 30% are immigrants and refugees

• 2017Apr 09
• CORRESPONDENTSteve Kroft

The following is a script from “Chief of Chobani,” which aired on April 9, 2017. Steve Kroft is the correspondent. Michael Rey and Oriana Zill Granados, producers.

At a time when Americans are debating whether immigration and refugees are a good thing or a bad thing for the country, it is sometimes noted that Tesla, Google, eBay, and Pepsi Cola are all either founded by or currently run by immigrants, and, in one case, a refugee. It’s a reminder that foreigners don’t always take jobs from Americans, sometimes they create them. And of all the success stories none seems more relevant to the current debate than the tale of Hamdi Ulukaya, who came here from Turkey 23 years ago on a student visa with almost no money. Today, he is a billionaire who has changed American tastes with his Chobani yogurt, resurrected the economy in two communities, and drawn praise and some hostile fire for the way he’s done it.

Chobani founder Hamdi Ulukaya

 CBS NEWS

He is a familiar, paternal presence on the factory floor, where everyone calls him Hamdi.

Hamdi Ulukaya: Hey brother, how you doing?

He oversees every detail of a product line that barely existed a dozen years ago.  Greek-style yogurt -- a thicker, tangier version of the dairy product that Ulukaya popularized here and named Chobani. It’s now the best-selling brand in America.

Steve Kroft: What is the word, “Chobani,” mean?

Hamdi Ulukaya: It means shepherd.

Steve Kroft: Shepherd?

Hamdi Ulukaya: Shepherd. It’s a very beautiful word. It represents peace. And it meant a lot to me because, you know, I come from a life with shepherds and mountains and all that stuff.

Chobani founder Hamdi Ulukaya samples yogurt

 CBS NEWS

His family raised goats and sheep and made cheese and yogurt in a small Kurdish village in Eastern Turkey. During the summer months, they would move to the mountains and graze their flock under the stars. He says he was born on one of those trips but he doesn’t know the date or the year.

Steve Kroft: So how did you come not to know your birthday?

Hamdi Ulukaya: Yeah, in the old days, you know-- the nomads they didn’t deliver babies in the hospitals.

“[Chobani means] shepherd. It’s a very beautiful word. It represents peace. And it meant a lot to me because...I come from a life with shepherds and mountains and all that stuff.” Hamdi Ulukaya

Steve Kroft: Midwives?

Hamdi Ulukaya: Midwives, yeah. They would register when they come back. The registration officer would put everybody in January. Says it’s easy for math. Like, 70 percent of our town at that time, born in-- somehow in-- January. I’m January 20th.

Hamdi Ulukaya: This reminds me of home.

He came to the U.S. at 22, a passionate, idealistic student who had gotten in trouble with Turkish authorities for writing articles sympathetic to the Kurdish rights movement. He was hauled in for questioning and decided it might be a good idea to leave.

Steve Kroft: Did you speak any English when you came?

Hamdi Ulukaya: No.

Steve Kroft: None?

Hamdi Ulukaya: Zero

Steve Kroft: No family, no--

Hamdi Ulukaya: Nothing. Nothing.

Steve Kroft: No friends?

Hamdi Ulukaya: Nobody. No.

It took him a year to find his footing in upstate New York where he spent the next decade finishing his studies, working on a dairy farm and starting a modest feta cheese business here one day he spotted an ad.

Hamdi Ulukaya: It said, “Fully equipped yogurt plant for sale.” And it has a picture in front. It said 1920 on the back. There was small, small picture of various per-- parts of the plant. And I called the number.

The real estate agent said the 85-year-old factory was owned by Kraft Foods which had decided to get out of the yogurt business.

Hamdi Ulukaya: And I asked for the price. And he says $700,000. I mean, you cannot even get a tank with $700,000. How could this be? So I didn’t ask the second time because I didn’t want him to think that I--

Steve Kroft: Didn’t believe him?

Hamdi Ulukaya: Yeah.

Steve Kroft: Or get him to reevaluate the price?

Hamdi Ulukaya: Yeah, he says, “Oh, maybe-- we’re asking too little.” 

Sensing an opportunity Hamdi set off to the small village of New Berlin, New York, to have a look. There he found the last employees of the last plant in the area closing it down.

60 Minutes correspondent Steve Kroft interviews Chobani founder Hamdi Ulukaya

 CBS NEWS

Hamdi Ulukaya: I remember like yesterday. It’s like this sadness in this whole place. Like as if somebody died, like, somebody important died.

Steve Kroft: Two hundred jobs?

Hamdi Ulukaya: Two hundred jobs was gone.

Former employees Frank Price, Maria Wilcox and Rich Lake were among the mourners that day.

Rich Lake: Your whole livelihood’s gone. You don’t really know what you’re gonna do or where you’re gonna go.

Steve Kroft: So in comes this guy. Did you think he was for real?

Rich Lake: Honestly, it was a little farfetched sounding at first. There was a little bit of doubt. At least for me there was. You know, I mean--

Hamdi Ulukaya: It’s OK. I doubted myself too.

He didn’t have any money, but he managed to get a regional bank and the Small Business Administration to split the risk of a million-dollar loan...that put Chobani in business and allowed Hamdi to hire his first five employees four of whom had been let go by Kraft.

Hamdi Ulukaya: And we had no other ideas what we were going to do next.

It would take them two years to come up with a product and figure out how to produce it. Hamdi spent most of his time in the plant, except to grab two meals a day at the local pizzeria owned by another immigrant Frank Baio and his wife Betsey.

Hamdi Ulukaya: This is the only place in my, you know, in my early days of coming here, this is the only place you can come and connect to life again and society and go back to whatever you do.

Frank Baio: And I want to say something, ‘Scuse me if I interrupt you.  Before Hamdi showed up in this town, I was the king.

Steve Kroft: What did you think of his plans?

Frank Baio: Well. let’s put it to you this way: I kind of felt sorry because I don’t think he know what was get into it. I mean, I-- you figure for Kraft to shut it down, who the hell is this guy that he’s gonna open up and make it right, make it going?

Almost all of the early Chobani meetings took place here…along with some small celebrations. Betsey remembers one where Hamdi offered this toast.

Betsy Baio: He said, “Here’s to wishing we could ever make 100,000 cases of yogurt in a week and not worry about the light bill.” I said to my husband, “I’m gonna feel so bad when he loses his shirt ‘cause he’s never gonna sell 100,000 cases in a week.”

Actually it would take only a year. The first order of Chobani yogurt –150 cases-- was delivered to a kosher grocery store on Long Island in October of 2007…no one knew if there would be another.

Hamdi Ulukaya: The store manager called me and said, “I don’t know what you’re putting into these cups. I cannot keep it on shelf. Don’t tell me what you’re putting in there.” At that moment, I knew this was-- like, three months in, this was not going to be about if I could sell it. It was going to be about can I make enough.

It would require more machines, bigger facilities, more milk from the surrounding dairy farms, and a lot more people. Between 2008 and 2012 production of Chobani yogurt grew to as much as two million cases a week, revenues reached a billion dollars a year and the number of employees shot up to 600 ... It’s now roughly a thousand.

Hamdi Ulukaya: Anybody in the community who wanted to work for those years would find a job at Chobani. Anybody, we were hiring. And if they were not working for us, they were working for the contractors that were doing job for us. Because the-- my-- my number one thing is I was gonna hire everyone local before I go outside.

Hamdi’s recruiting effort included a stop at a refugee resettlement center in the city of Utica 40 miles away, where he heard they were having trouble finding people work.

Hamdi Ulukaya: They said, “Well, the language is a barrier. And transportation.” I said, “OK, let’s try some. I will hire translators. And we’ll provide transportation. Let them come and make yogurt with us.

Steve Kroft: And they worked out?

Hamdi Ulukaya: Oh, perfectly. And they are the most loyal, hard, working people along with everyone else right now in our plant in here, we have 19 different nationalities, 16 different translators.

By 2012, the capacity of the plant in New Berlin had maxed out. They were running out of people, running out of milk and running out of room. So Hamdi decided to build a second facility -- the largest yogurt plant in the world, in the town of Twin Falls, Idaho, all based on a sketch he’d roughed out on a napkin at Frank’s pizzeria.

Hamdi Ulukaya: And if you look at the plant and the-- and the napkin, it’s basically the similar-- similar design. The piping in this plant is-- if you put it together-- from here to Chicago and we built them less than a year.

There were some initial growing pains: a shipment had to be recalled because of mold contamination and early production delays necessitated an emergency loan. But the business survived and has thrived in large part because of Hamdi’s competitive nature.

Hamdi Ulukaya: I love innovation, I love competing. I hate my competitors.

Steve Kroft: You hate your competitors?

Hamdi Ulukaya: Of course, I do. I wanna beat them up.

Steve Kroft: You want to make Dannon yogurt and Yoplait suffer?

Hamdi Ulukaya: Back to France. Just kidding aside. What I mean is you cannot be in the world of business-- when you don’t have this consciousness of winning. But in a right way.

Today the Twin Falls plant has 1,000 employees with above average wages and generous benefits. It pumps more than $2 billion-a-year into the regional economy, which is now running at close to full employment. It’s allowed Hamdi to hire fellow immigrants and refugees, not instead of American workers but alongside them.

We met two of them in Twin Falls, sisters, and agreed not to use their names or disclose the Middle Eastern country they fled because they fear reprisals from the human traffickers that separated them from their family then abandoned them as young girls on the street corner in Eastern Europe.

Steve Kroft: How did you manage to get out?

Sister 1: Took us a long time. I prefer really not to talk about it because it is really painful--

Sister 2: It’s painful, yeah.

Steve Kroft: Would you have survived if you had stayed there?

Sister 1: No.

Steve Kroft: You’re sure of that?

Sister 1: Yeah. Definitely. I was not sitting here alive if I was not leaving.

Hamdi Ulukaya: They got here legally. They’ve gone through a most dangerous journey. They lost their family members. They lost everything they have. And here they are. They are either going to be a part of society or they are going to lose it again. The number one thing that you can do is provide them jobs.  The minute they get a job that’s the minute they stop being a refugee.

Hamdi Ulukaya insists he’s not an activist just a businessman.  But the fact that he comes from a Muslim country, supports legal immigration and helps refugees has not been universally popular in Idaho, one of the most conservative states in the country.

During the past election, Chobani was attacked by far-right media, including Breitbart claiming it had brought refugees, crime and tuberculosis to Twin Falls, none of which is true yet both Hamdi and the mayor of Twin Falls received death threats.  

Steve Kroft: One publication had a headline that said, “American yogurt tycoon vows to choke U.S. with Muslims.”

Hamdi Ulukaya: Yeah.

Steve Kroft: People targeted you?

Hamdi Ulukaya: Yeah, It was an emotional time. People, you know, hate you for doing something right. I mean, what can you do about that? There’s not much you can do.

The situation has cooled somewhat and Hamdi enjoys the full support of Idaho’s very popular and very conservative Governor Butch Otter.

Butch Otter:  I think his care about his employees, whether they be refugees or they be folks that were born 10 miles from where they’re working-- I believe his advocacy for that person is no different. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

We traveled with Ulukaya to Europe, where he has made the international refugee crisis the focal point of his personal philanthropy.  He’s donated millions to help survivors like these in Italy.

Hamdi Ulukaya: What’s your name?

...who risked everything fleeing Iraq, Syria and Africa in hopes of finding a better life. He’s also enlisted the support of major U.S. corporations in the cause and pledged to give most of his fortune to charity.

Hamdi Ulukaya: She died?

Refugee: Yes.

Hamdi Ulukaya: And the kids died too?

Hamdi says he had no idea that things would turn out the way they have when he came to America 23 years ago and bought that shuttered yogurt factory in upstate New York. He is now showing his gratitude. A year ago, he gave 10 percent of all of his equity in Chobani to his employees.

Hamdi Ulukaya: It’s not a gift. It’s not a, “Oh look how nice I am.” It’s a recognition. It’s the right thing to do. It is something that belongs to them that I recognize. That’s how I see it.

© 2017 CBS Interactive Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Steve Kroft (born August 22, 1945) is an American journalist and a longtime correspondent for 60 Minutes. His investigative reporting has garnered him much acclaim, including three Peabody Awards and nine Emmy awards, one of which was an Emmy for Lifetime Achievement.

The Leash Theory of Management

The Leash Theory of Management
by Bryan J. Neva, Sr.

Have you ever heard a manager use phrases like, "I have to keep them on a short leash!", or "I'll give them all the rope they need to hang themselves!" Essentially that manager subscribes to what I call "The Leash Theory of Management."

"The Leash Theory of Management" has its origins with the famous Russian Psychologist, Physician, and Nobel Prize winner, Ivan Pavlov (1849 - 1936), who did experiments with dogs called "classical conditioning." First Pavlov presented meat (an unconditional stimulus) to a hungry dog, and the dog responded by salivating (a natural unconditional response). Next Pavlov rang a bell at the same time he presented the meat to the hungry dog, and again the dog responded by salivating. Pavlov repeated this several times so the dog would learn to associate the ringing bell with getting fed. Finally, Pavlov rang the bell but didn't present the meat and the dog responded by salivating. So Pavlov conditioned the dog to salivate at the sound of the ringing bell. The ringing bell was the "conditioned stimulus" and the dog's salivation was the "conditioned response." The ultimate purpose of Pavlov's experiments with dogs was to learn if they were applicable to humans; and, in fact, they were as subsequent, unethical experiments on children by other psychologist proved this. Today, most psychologist and management experts overwhelmingly condemn the use of "Pavlovian conditioning" on people as being unethical and immoral as it lowers the dignity of human beings to the level of animals and causes long-term psychological harm.

We know that people can develop phobias, anxieties, irrational fears, emotional responses, or other abnormal psychological behaviors mainly because of a "conditioned response." For example, say you flew on an airplane and had a very traumatic experience (the plane experienced extreme turbulence and almost crashed), you'd naturally associate flying with death and might develop a fear of flying, or a "conditioned response" to flying.

Getting back to "The Leash Theory of Management" or what psychologist call "Pavlovian conditioning," the manager who subscribes to this theory basically believes that his employees must be trained like dogs and figuratively kept on a leash so he can control their behavior. He'll use rewards, punishment, fear, and intimidation all to elicit a conditioned response from his reports. The idea of "keeping his employees on a short leash" would imply micromanaging or closely scrutinizing everything the employee does. The idea of "giving them all the rope they need to hang themselves" would imply taking a hands-off approach with an employee, waiting for them to make a mistake, and then mercilessly punishing them the minute they do. The manager is essentially setting his employee up to fail, and they'll typically use this technique to get rid of an unwanted employee.

Using Pavlovian Management Techniques usually causes employees to respond anxiously to the mere presence of their manager; the manager (or "dog trainer" as I like to call them) has "conditioned" his employees to "respond" with fear and anxiety the minute he shows his face or opens his mouth. They become like dogs that have been beaten so much that they spend half their working lives just cowering in fear and sucking up to him. 

One of the most famous practitioners of Pavlovian Management Techniques was Jack Welch, the controversial CEO of GE from 1981 to 2001. During his tenure at the helm of GE, the company's value rose an astounding 4000%, and when he retired from GE he was given an unheard of severance package of $417 million. Welch's personal net worth is north of $720 million! Having published several books himself, and having numerous other books and articles published about him, we know that Jack Welch was a big proponent and practitioner of "The Leash Theory of Management." He used fear, intimidation, rewards, and punishment to motivate his underlings. These, along with some creative accounting and a growing economy was how he was able to accomplish what he did at GE! GE is a classic example of a "profit-at-any-price," "throw the baby out with the bathwater" organization, as they ruthlessly will fire employees on a whim. GE has absolutely no loyalty to their employees as they're seen as nothing more than "units of production." 

The military as well extensively uses "The Leash Theory of Management" especially with new recruits and low ranking enlisted personnel. The military loves the "young and dumb" as they're easily trainable just like puppies. The military euphemistically calls it "re-socialization," but in reality, it's akin to "dog training!"  That is why most people don't last much longer than their first enlistment, and also why so many veterans suffer from some degree of PTSD even if they'd never even seen combat. R. Lee Ermey's portrayal of the Marine Corps Drill Sergeant in the 1987 Stanley Kubrick film Full Metal Jacket is a classic example of military "Pavlovian conditioning." Those who thrive in a military environment, like the character R. Lee Ermey played, are those who love to be "dog trainers" just like the famous dog whisperer Cesar Millan, or the controversial Jack Welch. 

I once met a veteran back in the '80s who had a barcode tattooed on the back of his neck; when I asked him about it, he told me the military made him feel like just a number or a piece of serialized military equipment. The tattoo was his way of protesting his military experience. In fact, when I was in the military, we stenciled our social security numbers on everything including the "dog tags" we were required to wear around our necks. The military's social caste system where the officers are the "Lords" and the enlisted personnel are the "Serfs" is an outdated system best left in the middle ages.

Employees who experience "The Leash Theory of Management" in their working environments usually fall into three categories: 1) those who Accept it and stay; 2) those who try to Change it; and 3) those who Exit (Accept it, Change it, or Exit: ACE it). The employees who accept it and stay usually do so because they can't afford to lose their jobs (i.e. their meal ticket), and they cower in fear like an abused dog and suck up to their "masters" hoping not to get another beating that day; however, they become disengaged from their work and usually do just enough to get by and not draw the wrath of their "dog trainer." Of course, the long-term results are lower productivity. The employees who try to change it do so because they believe they can somehow be a change agent in the organization, and they don't like being treated like dogs. They want to be treated with the dignity and respect of a human being. Finally, the employees who exit don't accept the status quo and don't like being treated like dogs, so they just quietly leave. The revolving door starts turning, new employees replace them, and the vicious cycle starts all over again. (It kind of sounds like the military doesn't it?) Unfortunately, when there's high turnover under a manager who practices "The Leash Theory of Management," the last thing most organizations will ever do is fire the manager!

Dr. Stanley Milgram was a social psychologist who performed controversial obedience experiments in the early 1960s. He subsequently published a book in 1974 entitled, Obedience to Authority which became a worldwide best-seller. His experiments are cited in just about every psychology textbook today, and they help to explain the passivity of the German people under Hitler and the Nazis during World War II. An article in American Psychologist summed up Milgram's obedience experiments as follows:

"In Milgram's basic paradigm, a subject walks into a laboratory believing that s/he is about to take part in a study of memory and learning. After being assigned the role of a teacher, the subject is asked to teach word associations to a fellow subject (who in reality is a collaborator of the experimenter). The teaching method, however, is unconventional—administering increasingly higher electric shocks to the learner. Once the presumed shock level reaches a certain point, the subject is thrown into a conflict. On the one hand, the strapped learner demands to be set free, he appears to suffer pain, and going all the way may pose a risk to his health. On the other hand, the experimenter, if asked, insists that the experiment is not as unhealthy as it appears to be and that the teacher must go on. In sharp contrast to the expectations of professionals and laymen alike, some 65% of all subjects continue to administer shocks up to the very highest levels."

Milgram's obedience experiments proved that 65% of people throughout all walks of life will naturally accept "Pavlovian conditioning" in the workplace while only 35% will resist it and refuse to be a part of it. It was a shocking discovery about human nature.

 
But knowing human nature's propensity to blindly follow authority, choosing to be part of the 35% who questions the morality and ethics of "The Leash Theory of Management" or "Pavlovian conditioning" will begin the change process to more humane, modern and effective leadership methods in organizations. "Pavlovian conditioning" only works because of our human nature to blindly follow authority. Developing an ethos that questions the morality and ethics of everything will help prevent us from falling into the trap of perpetrating injustices on others or being victimized by others.

So if you're working for a "dog trainer" I recommend that you just quietly start looking for another job as it's easier to find another job when you already have one. If you stay you'll eventually develop some serious mental health issues, and if you resist it's unlikely you'll ever change anything and you'll still end up with some serious mental health issues. So do yourself a big favor, save your sanity, and just leave! Find another employer or manager who doesn't practice "The Leash Theory of Management" and will treat you with the dignity and respect we all deserve as human beings.

6 Signs You Worry Too Much About What Others Think: Why It’s a Problem and What to Do About It by Dr. Gary Trosclair, Huffington Post

6 Signs You Worry Too Much About What Others Think: Why It’s a Problem and What to Do About It 
by Dr. Gary Trosclair, Ph.D, Huffington Post

It’s very human to want to be liked. Isolation is dangerous for our mental health. But if you betray yourself to get people to like you, that causes problems that are at least as bad if not worse. I’ll explain why in a moment, but first let’s look at some signs that you worry too much what others think about you.

1. You do things you don’t want to do and you resent it.
2. You no longer (or never did) really know what you want.
3. You’re afraid to say what you really believe.
4. You spend time with people you don’t like or you avoid people out of fear.
5. You struggle to make your own decisions.
6. You imagine that people are upset with you when they really aren’t.

Here’s why it’s a problem:

Deep inside of us, along with our need to be liked, we also have a need to be authentic, to think and live in our own unique way. Nature made us this way so that we could think critically and develop creative solutions rather than rushing headlong over a cliff with the rest of the herd. If we all thought alike the human race would have died out long ago.

As Bertrand Russell wrote, “Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.”

We thrive when we get along with others, and think and act independently at the same time. If you aren’t doing both, you’re out of balance, and your psyche will complain about it with either depression (“No one likes me.”) or anxiety (“I have to get them to like me”). These are often warning signs, and if not heeded, things can get really bad. That’s why it’s dangerous to worry too much what others think about you.

Here’s what to do about it:

1. Find your people: Don’t imagine that you can stop caring what everyone thinks. Seek out the people who see your strengths and goodness and whom you trust. Stick with them and take what they say seriously. When you fear that they’re thinking badly of you, check it out: Ask them what’s going on. A small group of friends or community can go a long way in increasing security. It’s important to know that you’re loved.

Bernard Baruch put it well when he said, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

2. Face it down: What if other people do think badly of you? Thank goodness! If everyone likes you, you’re probably not being true to your self. Ask yourself “What’s the worst that could happen?” and come to terms with it.

3. Spend time alone or in therapy: In order to remember or learn what you want, need and believe you’ll need to have periods of time when you can hear yourself without worrying about the voices of others. Journal. Talk to yourself. Ask yourself what you need. Find ways to make yourself happy that don’t depend on other people. Psychotherapy can also help with this because it focuses on hearing what’s inside of you.

4. Experiment judiciously with speaking your mind. This could mean taking some chances. You may not be able to do this at work, since we usually need to maintain an appropriate persona at work. And, sadly, if you belong to a racial or sexual minority, you are probably wise to be guarded in certain situations. But exercising your opinion elsewhere can build confidence. This can be scarey, but it can also be liberating. Avoidance breeds anxiety, while mastery brings self esteem. Here again, therapy is a safe place to start.

5. Decide what’s truly important to you: Is what people think of you high on that list? Make a short list, post it on your fridge, send yourself reminders on your phone, and don’t let critical folks who are suffering from insecurity come between you and fulfillment.

6. Find your inspiration: Name three characters—real or from literature or film (for example Martin Luther King, Eleanor Roosevelt, Malala Yousafzai, Misty Copeland, Katniss Everdeen or Harry Potter) that have faced these same fears and overcome them. Carry their image in your mind. Authenticity is an archetypal theme: For millennia we’ve used stories of heroes and heroines that have not followed the crowd to help us overcome our own fears. Images of their courageous acts reach older parts of your brain—fear centers that may not respond to simple logic—and can free you to follow your intentions.

This being true to your whole self—this individuation—isn’t easy. It takes courage and perseverance, but in the long run it feels better. And for many people, bringing their unique offerings to the world is what gives their life meaning.

Here’s how Carl Jung put it: “May each one seek out his own way. The way leads to a mutual love in community...Therefore give people dignity and let each of them stand apart, so that each may find his own fellowship and love it.. Give human dignity, and trust that life will find the better way.”
_______________________________________________

My Thoughts:

"Don't concentrate on all the people who may dislike you; concentrate on the God who Loves you!"

As a Christian, I try to completely trust God and not people in everything I do and say; it gives me peace of mind when I put God first, others second, and myself third. People are quite fickle; one day they're your friend; the next day they're your enemy. So try not to worry if people "like" you or not. God brings people in and out of our lives all the time: some for our encouragement, some to try our patience, and others, unfortunately, to build our characters. It's quite rare to find a true and devoted friend who'll stick by you through thick and thin.

Try as much as you are able to be patient and stay humble of heart with others, trust in God completely and not in yourself or others. It's NOT possible to please everybody, but it IS possible to please God. The only way you can get most people to "like" you is to do nothing, to say nothing, and to be nothing, but then you'd no longer be the unique human being that God created you to be...you'd be a mind-numbed robot or a plain vanilla ice cream cone; you wouldn't be you!  

It's important to remember that it really doesn't matter whether or not others "like" you or how they treat you, but whether or not YOU like YOU and how YOU treat others! You're your own worst critic, so if you're happy with who YOU are then that's all that matters. There are many reasons for other people's unfriendly or unkind behavior. You can only try to positively influence others, but you can't control others! How others behave is ultimately their responsibility, not yours! YOU are only responsible for YOUR behavior, NOT other people's behavior

Think about this, Jesus was the perfect human being and what did the world do to him? Jesus even warned his disciples (John 15:18, 20), "If the world hates you, remember the world hated me first. If people did wrong to me then they'll do wrong to you too." St. John said (1 John 3:13), "Don't be surprised if the world hates you!"  And St. Paul said (2 Tim 3:12), "Indeed, all who want to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted."

For many and varied reasons people, in general, can't stand people who strive to live good and decent lives. It's counterintuitive, but it's quite true. The old cliche, "no good deed goes unpunished" is quite true. It amazes me how many politicians, entertainers, famous, and wealthy people who live sinful lives are venerated as secular saints. Jesus warned of this too (John 15:19), "If you belonged to the world, the world would love you."  

People will betray you, abandon you, and mistreat you; don't treat them the same way, just forgive them and continue to love them. "Loving" someone is quite different from "liking" someone. You're never going to "like" everyone and not everyone is going to "like" you. So if others are unfriendly, rude, hateful, or disrespectful to you, then return love, kindness, blessings, and prayers instead. When our lives are over, it really won't matter how many friends we had, but whether we were a friend to others (especially to those who are outcasts in the world).

I think Saint Mother Teresa of Calcutta said it best:

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered; forgive them anyway. 

If you are kind people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives; be kind anyway. 

If you are successful you will win some false friends and some true enemies; succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget about tomorrow; do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough; give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway.   

Ten Unmistakable Signs of A Bad Place To Work by Liz Ryan, Forbes

Ten Unmistakable Signs of A Bad Place To Work 
by Liz Ryan, Forbes

I talk to job-seekers every day. Some of them have target lists of companies they’d like to learn more about, and almost all of them have lists of companies they would never work for, no matter what.

Where did they get their lists of companies they would never, ever work for? They either worked for those companies in the past or have friends who did. People talk, and they tell their friends “No matter how badly you need a job, don’t go to work for this company and that company. It’s worse working there than being unemployed, by a mile!”

An employee handbook is a window to the corporate soul. Reading the employee handbook will give you enormous clues to the company’s culture. If they won’t give you a handbook, run away then and there!

Here are ten unmistakable signs that a company you are interviewing with is not a good place to work.

1. No-Moonlighting Policy

If you read the company’s employee handbook and you find a No-Moonlighting Policy, that’s your cue to back out of the recruiting process, fast! A No-Moonlighting policy is a rule that says that if you work for this company, you can’t have another, part-time job. Why would that be any of their business, if you’re showing up to work and getting your work done

You should not have to ask permission to spin records at weddings as a DJ or to work part-time at your uncle’s catering company. A No-Moonlighting policy is exactly the type of overreaching, Big-Brotherish practice that corporations only employ when they believe that their team members are insignificant cogs in their machine.

2. No-References Policy

You won’t find this policy in the employee handbook, so it is important that you ask your interviewer about it. Ask them whether the company’s managers are allowed to provide references for their former employees. In many large organizations, they are not.

Even if your old manager wanted to give you a glowing reference, he or she wouldn’t be allowed to do so. Your manager would have to send the inquiry to HR, and all they’d be allowed to do is to verify your dates of employment and your job titles. What a slap in the face to the employee who did a tremendous job, and deserves a good reference!

Ask the question this way:

“I am very interested in the culture of any organization I think about joining. I hope that if we end up working together, that relationship lasts for a good period of time but I also know that people don’t walk into companies anymore and retire from the same company thirty years later. Does your company allow managers to give references for their employees, or are those inquiries sent to HR?”

Only fearful leaders put No-Reference Policies in place. They couldn’t care less whether the No-Reference Policy makes it harder for their former teammates to get a new job. No-Reference Policies are unethical and should be illegal but they’re not, so proceed with caution!

3. Progressive Discipline

If the handbook talks about Progressive Discipline, get out of Dodge immediately! You are an adult. You are not a wayward third-grader who needs to worry about getting sent to the principal’s office. Progressive Discipline policies that line out the punishments employees will receive for a first infraction, second infraction, etc. are holdovers from the Industrial Revolution and have no place in the Knowledge Economy we are working in now.

4. Payroll Deductions

Some old-school companies will take money out of your paycheck for stupid things. You will see these policies written out in the employee handbook if they have them in place. We got a call in our office from a young woman who works for an accounting firm in Chicago. Her boss had asked her to order pizza for the team one day.

The young woman ordered $120 worth of pizza for the group and told her manager about it. Her manager got mad. He said, “$120? You could have gotten a better price!” The young employee was freaked out. She went back to her desk and started researching cheaper pizza options online.

She placed another pizza order with a different restaurant. This time the bill was $89. Unfortunately, in her nervous state she forgot to cancel the first pizza order, so both pizza orders arrived.

Her boss said “I’m going to take the $120 out of your paycheck!” Of course, the team ate all the pizza — both orders. Any company that wants to take money out of your paycheck (for a piece of equipment that breaks while you’re using it, e.g.) is not a place you want to work for.

5. Dictated Hours

I collect employee handbooks. At least 30% of the 100 or so employee handbooks on my hard drive specify the number of hours the company expects you to work — and I’m talking about salaried employees who do not get paid a penny for overtime!

Some companies specify, for instance, that ‘staff-level’ employees should expect to work 45 hours per week (for the price of 40!), supervisors should expect to work 50 hours per week and management folks should plan on working 55 or more.

Smart companies know that what’s important is that the work gets done – not how many hours people work. If you see this kind of language in an employee handbook, do not take the job — because you will hate it if you do!

6. Managers Control Internal Transfers

In good companies, employees bid on internal jobs they are interested in. If they get the job, then their new manager and their old manager will talk about a transition plan to get the employee into their new position without leaving the former manager in the lurch.

In bad companies, managers control their employees’ internal transfer and promotion opportunities. They haven’t figured out that if an employee is thwarted in his or her desire to move to a new position inside the company, they’ll just find a new position in another company!

Companies that don’t understand the difference between machines that can be controlled by humans, and talented employees who can’t be controlled, don’t deserve your talents.

7. Formal Performance Management

Performance Management is the name of a popular HR hoax and scam that turns any job into a series of tasks and goals that you’ll be held accountable for on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. No job worth doing breaks down into tiny, measurable parts.

Good jobs are whole. You know what your mission is and you work toward your mission every day, checking in with your manager as appropriate. Run away from any company that surrounds you with yardsticks and measurements. Working in a place like that would only raise your blood pressure and destroying your mojo.

8. No Casual Time

When you read a potential employer’s employee handbook, pay special attention to the section of the handbook that focuses on paid time off. Good companies understand that in addition to scheduled vacation time and unscheduled sick time, normal adults need occasional days off to deal with real life.

You might have to take your cat to the vet one day or be called into a meeting at your kids’ school without notice. Good companies have personal time or casual time you can use for those real-life situations. If the only kinds of time off your prospective employer offers are vacation time, sick time and holidays, keep job-hunting! There is a better employer for you than these folks.

9. Pay Grades Make the Man (or Woman)

Also pay close attention to the discussion of pay grades in the employee handbook you are reading, and listen on your job interviews when people talk about pay grades and levels. In some companies, status and title are everything. These companies are not populated by fun, smart and creative people!

In some organizations you hear people say “Don’t call him — he’s an E5, and he won’t answer your call because you’re only an E3.” They say these things without irony. They think it’s normal to rank and evaluate people based on their title and pay grade. Don’t work with people like that! You have a brilliant career to lead, and bureaucratic, fearful organizations will not help you get there.

10. Interview Process

Last on our list of bad-company giveaways is the interviewing process itself. If people return your calls and email messages, treat you kindly during the interview process and generally seem to value your time and talents, that’s a great thing.

If they leave you waiting for weeks between each contact, give you endless tests and assignments and behave as though they are members of the royal family and you are a piece of dirt under their feet, don’t stick around!

No employer will ever love you more than they do at the point where they are trying to hire you. If the signals you get during the interview process are negative, don’t expect things to get better once you have the job.

The world is big, and there are lots of good organizations to work for. Don’t you deserve to work for one of them? Invest the time and energy to find a company where you can bring yourself to work. We are cheering you on!

Choose Life!

Choose Life!
by Bryan J. Neva, Sr.

In 1981, teenagers George Kyriacos Panayiotou (professionally known as George Michael) and Andrew John Ridgeley formed a musical duo in Hertfordshire, England. Calling themselves Wham!, they meteorically rose to the top (with a few bumps along the way) and eventually sold more than 28 million records by the time they broke up in 1986.

Their most memorable hit, "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go," was released in 1984 and rose to #1 in the UK and the US; it was subsequently ranked #28 by VH1's 100 greatest hits of the 1980s. In the music video, the duo wore designer T-shirts with the slogans, "CHOOSE LIFE" printed on them.

In hindsight, the "CHOOSE LIFE" T-Shirts worn in their music video was rather ironic as Michael and Ridgeley embraced the hedonistic lifestyle of most music stars. Their idea of "Choosing Life" was simply uninhibited personal freedom, having fun, and doing whatever feels good. That was living life to the fullest. Ridgeley eventually settled down to a more normal lifestyle, but Michael continued to live a debauched lifestyle which probably contributed to his untimely death in December 2016 at the age of 53. 

Ask anyone who's fighting a terminal illness if they "Choose Life" and they'll give you an unequivocal "Yes!" Healthcare comprises about 20% of the U.S. economy, so most of us want to stay alive. But staying alive is quit different from having a high quality of life. We all exist but how many of us truly live? 

More than 3000 years ago, the Prophet Moses gave an inspirational speech to the people of Israel about "Choosing Life" (Deuteronomy 30:11-20): 

Surely what I'm telling you today is not at all hard, nor is it too far away. It's not up in heaven that you should say, "Who'll go up to heaven for us to learn about it so that we can live by it?" Neither is it something beyond the sea that you should say, "Who'll cross the seas for us to learn about it so that we can live by it?" No, not at all, what I'm telling you today is actually very near to you...it's in your mouth and it's in your heart. What I'm telling you today is life and prosperity; it's death and adversity! All you must do is obey the commandments of the Lord your God by loving Him, walking in His ways, and observing all that He has taught you, then you'll live and prosper and the Lord your God will bless you. But if you turn away and do not obey Him, then you'll perish and die. So I call upon heaven and earth today to bear witness to what I have told you; I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Choose life so that you and your family may live and prosper!

Moses' taught that to "Choose Life" was to obey God's commandments by loving Him, walking in His ways, and following His teachings. And by doing these you'll prosper and God'll bless you. Not doing these is simply to "Choose Death" and curses.   

God has given all of us the freedom to choose how we want to live our lives. If we want to live a hedonistic lifestyle, that's our right. God's not going to stop us. But God has revealed to us the way to a have a truly abundant life simply by loving Him, walking in His ways, and following His teachings. The choice is between life and death; it's between blessings and curses. So "Choose Life" so that you and your family may live and prosper!