ANT 9 "Personalizing"
• You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event which in fact you were not primarily responsible for. This is the mother of all guilt. You feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.
• For example: "My boss was short with me today, he/she must be mad at me." "My child is failing in school, it’s my fault for not spending more time tutoring him." "This person was rude to me, I must have said something wrong." "That person was mean and angry with me, what did I do to make them so mad?"
• REALITY CHECK: There are many other reasons for other’s behavior besides your negative explanations. You confuse influence with control over others. In your role (no matter how powerful or menial) you can certainly influence others, but you cannot control them. What the other person does is ultimately their responsibility, not yours!
• Blessed Mother Teresa once said:
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered; Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway.
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