Sunday, March 27, 2016

What The New Job-Lingo Really Means

JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY - We have no time to train you.

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE - We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED - You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED - Some time each night and some time each weekend.

DUTIES WILL VARY - Anyone in the office can boss you around.

MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL - We have no quality control.

CAREER-MINDED - Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE - We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE - You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST - You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS - You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS - Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

BE ABLE TO DEAL WITH AMBIGUITY - Management will change their minds on a daily basis...deal with it.

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